my youngest sister got detention and a letter home because a boy said to her “girls don’t fart” so she sat on him and farted i’m actually dying 

(via puckdropsnow)

psilentasincjelli:

If I ever tell you I’m going to sleep and then you see me posting or liking things online for about an hour immediately after that, I promise I wasn’t lying to you, I’m just bad at going to sleep and it is usually a long process that begins with disengaging from any sort of immediate contact with people (chats, for example) and ends when everything on my screen is blurry and I’m hallucinating plot points I haven’t written yet

(via kimoyaftw)

africans:

i drop a piece of weed and it fell in a spider web and the spider was like “my nigga” and we fist pounded

(Source: cowboybeboop, via kimoyaftw)

royal-high:

a kid from my school just got expelled today for pretending to be russian for 8 months. he pretended he couldn’t read, write or talk english  he did good in all his classes because he had all the teachers and principles convinced he just moved from russia, so they didn’t make him do any work

(via heyfunniest)